Monday, February 11, 2013

Make a difference!!!



There was this family sitting on the table beside us. On the table next to us was seated a family with 4 very young kids and probably it was their first time out to a restaurant....As we waited for our order to flash, they were already served with all what they had ordered. It was shahi paneer, dal makhani and nan..or something of the sort. Now, as the lady tried feeding the three little children hovering around her with a yet younger baby in her lap, the husband on inspecting the dishes was pretty much angry at the dal makhani served to them. I guess it had gone cold. He asked for the manager to come and ushered to his wife, not to let the children eat. Now the young children were propbably very hungry and couldnt sit quiet and kept nudging at their mother to let them eat. The mother on the other hand couldnt bear to see her children hungry hence was trying to bite secretly into the tray of naan and quietly offering these to her little ones...who looked at her once and then at their father just to assure themselves that yes "he wasnt aware of the act and that they could enjoy it quietly..." but at the same time she was quite afraid of her husbands anger hence didnt dare give them a morsel while he was looking their way.... The manager came and the husband complained about the stuff not being good or cold or something of the sort..I wasnt actually interested in the reason of their argument but was watching these little kids with their mom trying to somehow eat a little of what they found to be very delicious.... Ultimately the father won and the manager had to replace the plate of dal makhani. On taking a bite the husband was still not satisfied by the stuff and therefore demanded a replacement again. The manager now was in a fit of rage...and he too was a person with the same kind of attitude, he didnt naturally replace it this time.  All this while the argument was taking place the children, kept secretly trying to take a piece or two of the naan when their fathers eyes were the other way. And by this time the kids had all started eating a little bit of whatever was served and were pretty much enjoying the food. The lady too seeing the order being replaced was content and had just extended her hand to serve her kids and husband when the man started murmuring at her and saying stuff not to be said in public to the manager. He was basically very annoyed at something which he himself didnt know. Now all this time we had already finished eating and it was pretty late. Suddenly the man picked up one of his kids and shouted at his wife to leave everything as such and come behind him. Quite reluctantly they all followed the man...looking back again and again till they were out of the restaurant....In his egoistic attitude the man not only went away hungry himself but his kids too were forced to go hungry, leaving the table with all the food as such. I still cannot forget the look on those hungry eyes...they were probably planning the dinner out all day and were starving by this time.... My heart went out to them...and I kept wondering how the sensless man let his children go hungry when the food was already served and they found no problem with it. They would have probably eaten it wihtout any complaint and would have relished it for times to come... It was beyond the time of night to find food anywhere else. I thought about the poor mother, she would have to go home and cook food for the six of them and by the time she was done, most of her kids would have gone off to sleep....HUNGRY!!!


I just have one thought and a feeling even today that I should have intervened and given some sense into that fellows mind. I could at least have tried. I regret not having taken the action then and there instead of sitting and watching all that was going on. Later on my way back home I asked my friend as to why did that man behave the way he did... Was it because his wife had forced him to take them all out for dinner and this annoyed him to the extent of such a behaviour in public so that she might never ask him to take them out again ever or was it actually the brief argument with the manager that annoyed him so much that he wasnt bothered of his children going hungry. There was just a smile on her face and she said..." FORGET IT..." 
I still am unable to understand as to what was going on in that persons head....to make him act the way he did... Had he been smart he would have quietly eaten whatever he liked and let his children eat as well who were actually ready to savour what ever was served to them. His attitude could have changed the whole situation... And also my attitude could have actually made a difference!!!!

4 comments:

  1. Well, Sarojini.. It is obvious that your heart is so good and your sense for justice & peace leads your good will & thoughts.

    To my view it is obvious too that this man in your story, sees himself the (only!!) head of the family and takes his steps without consulting his wife first,,or any other..
    By doing so he unwisely puts himself to be isolated in his "battle" to do good to himself and his family.. He actually have no backup from his family..I am pretty sure that he terrorize his wife at home with his demands and such kind of a behaviour.
    The fact that the lady didn't back him up is not only because she wanted to feed her chilren but also..unfortunately it is highly likely that this was not the first time that she felt uncomfortale with her husband's way of a behaviour.
    There is another point here too.
    The fact that the parents were not cooperating as one unit, is a (bad) lesson to the children. It tells them that they can take an attiude as they wish and listen to whom they want. In the future they will terroize their environment too.

    If this this man would have consulted with his wife ..he might have been tolerant with what he got to have ...and still if not that satisfied.. can never come there again...
    It is clear that he missed a good opportunity to teach his chilren to respect his lady/partner and to take wise steps his his life.

    Now Sarojini.. to your feelings.
    I am glad toread about your good heart.
    I am also glad that you didn't take any action there..
    To my view you had no capability to do any change ther.. on the contrary.. You might have found yourself exposed and as a target to this man's anger..
    You might have contribute to his children to see their father as the bad guy.
    This man might have blame his wife for not taking his side and support him..

    To conclude
    Your story here Sarojini, is a story of many families in this world, in which parents have no cooperation. Unfortunately their children's soul get damaged and later on it leads to all kind variations of terrorism.
    Hunger was not the case here...I am pretty sure that the children could have gone to sleep without having dinner that evening..and wait for the morning. Unfortunately they got see a bad example from both their parents.

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  2. Thank you Itzhak... for the valuable comment.

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  3. Your emotions, on a scene which takes place hundreds of times every day round the world, reinforces my belief that it is our attitude that makes a world of difference to us and to the people around us. Looking forward to more of your musings.

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  4. Jaya, You've summed up the whole write up so nicely!! Thank you so much...
    Surely..more to come.. lots of things to write about, just waiting for the right mood to creep in...:)

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